BedtimeStori
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My story. Ehh.

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My story. Ehh. Empty My story. Ehh.

Post  MyNameIsSean Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:41 pm

I made this around a year and a half ago, and I plan on updating it as time goes by. Grammar and spelling have improved since then, and that's probably the main reason why I want to update it. I will continue it later, but right now I only poses 9/13 chapters that I had originally written.

I want to create something that will immerse the reader into the story. Make them feel that it's actually happening. I want them to know what the actual person is doing, rather than reading something and passing it off. I've touched up a bit, but not enough to create the immersion. Here's just the prologue that I'll post. The original that I have (The 9 chapters) was 16,211 words. I have updated to 21,393 words so far, and that's just in the prologue, and half of the first chapter alone. I will also post the comparisons in the two different versions to show what I've done.

Chapter Zero: The prologue.
Original
Spoiler:

Updated version
Spoiler:

I plan to make this the smallest chapter of the entire thing, as it's a first glimpse of what's going on in the story, and past-tense of what's caused the current situation. This is usually known as "The enticement".

Current: 34 pages
Expected: 90 pages (At this rate, I'm trippling the content on each page. Some chapters are near what I want them to be, so I may just add a little bit to the said chapters.)

This is what I do in my spare time.

MyNameIsSean

Posts : 5
Join date : 2011-11-30

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Post  Demon Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:45 am

Oh wow c:
We have a writer on here!
Hehe, how nice.
You're really good! I can never write something
like that. It's really nice and detailed!
Good luck with your story (:
Demon
Demon

Posts : 84
Join date : 2011-11-08
Location : lost

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Post  Abyss Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:11 pm

Yeey!!!
The story is back I still remembering reading it and wishing you would continue and then Poof forums gone D;

Wish you luck on updating it can't wait to read it all again to refresh the memory




Abyss

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Post  MyNameIsSean Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:10 pm

Hey Abyss, just a question, do you remember everyone's first name? I want to remove the whole "IGN" thing in the story. I've pretty much forgot the names of everyone except those who I still talk to like Panny and Awesome. (Panny wants her name to be Panny rather than her real one, she doesn't want many people to know it, Awesome is also named Kreigh)

I'll be changing a bit of it around, as well as some of the story, but still trying to keep it funny never the less.

MyNameIsSean

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Post  Abyss Mon Dec 12, 2011 6:21 pm

Eehm
I might know a few....
I don't know wich ign's are in there though if you give me a list i'll give you the names I remember :3 ?

Abyss

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